I can only speak for myself and I have no room to judge or condemn anyone else, but I know with certainty I cannot Love someone and pursue a homosexual relationship with them at the same time. I wanted to and even tried really hard to, but the homosexual feelings got in the way. What I meant is that I failed to love him. You mentioned that you didn't believe me when I said "I didn't love Tim" and that you could tell I had feelings involved. It is the exact opposite of Love in ever way shape or form. Regardless of how anyone spins Leviticus or Romans, that is sin. This was usually followed by a false pride/boasting to cover up the emptiness that followed. S ince I am undeniably a Man (biologically and psychologically), attraction to another Man first requires a lot of insecurity about myself as well as a lot of false hopes and illusions about what the connection with the other Man will somehow provide.įrom my own experience I can see that ALL of my previous homosexual relationships (or encounters) started with me first feeling hopeless, jealous, envious, and distrusting, and then impatiently (and desperately) self-seeking my own end to the detriment of the other Man.
It is impossible for me to be attracted to another male or female person (romantically or physically) without first seeing them as an Opposite of myself. Over this past several years I've realized that I only feel homosexual feelings (romantic or physical) when I feel inadequate in my own sense of self or masculinity and/or when I perceive that another guy has the qualities (personality or physical) that I feel that I lack. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. I remember hearing once that "sin is a failure to love." At first I thought that was a watered down perspective, but I think it might be accurate. My decision this past year wasn't really about that specific issue though. In the past I used to get bogged down in that and I had a lot uncertainty and doubt. There MAY be several ways of interpreting the Hebrew in Leviticus or the Greek words in Romans. I realize that different churches have varying views on the morality of homosexuality. As I mentioned I never intended to sound judgmental or critical of anyone else. I care about you and the rest of the men in the group as well. I finally calmed down and wrote this response (below): I wanted to respond immediately, but knew I shouldn't at that moment. He said he feared I was being "brainwashed." His email really upset me. His email was about my choice to leave the gay lifestyle. I got an email from an old friend in the bible study group that I used to attend with my ex-partner, Tim.